Gloriously Humiliating
| Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 15-12-2009
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Yesterday I was doing nothing and slipped a rib outta place. Yeah. It was one of those “is this really freakin happening…again?” moments where I found oxygen tough to inhale and my suppressed rage pretty easy to access. To say I was in pain, confused and thoroughly ticked off, is an understatement. But I’m finding that truth often speaks the loudest in pain and this didn’t fail to deliver a great dose of understanding.
By now, our family is so used to these “daddy’s back’s out” expereinces that it’s like a routine fire drill. Everybody moves to their predetermined position–one kid runs to get an ice pack, another plugs in the back massage thingy and my poor wife drops whatever she’s doing to figure out how to help her helpless husband. Then everybody stares in anxiety as the biggest human in the house is reduced to a fetal-like position on the nearest floor or bed. It’s really a beautiful way to start a day. They’ll all need therapy someday.
Bio-freeze was starting to warm the area of my back as I drove into the city for the first of many meetings. I was still hacked. “I can’t function with this broken machine of a body!” I yelled to no one in particular. “I can’t depend on this piece of junk You gave me…it doesn’t work!” I said pounding the steering wheel. Now I had accurately directed my speech toward God. He’s into honesty…we’d do well to get on board with that too. But graciously, instead of stopping my heart and allowing my car to careen into the ditch, He answered my cry.
I was reminded of the passage in Psalms 147 where the writer gives beautiful insight: “His (God) pleasure is not in the strength of the horse nor his delight in the legs (or back..nathan version) of a man, the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.”
You see, it’s not the outside exterior that God finds pleasure in. It’s not the physical prowess that God delights over. He didn’t look at our mere appearance upon creation and call it “good.” It’s much deeper. It’s the beautiful inner weaving of human will and human mortality; our conscious decision to accept the dismantling of our bodies while our minds are being renewed. The hope that even in the midst of the outer shell wasting away, the inner self is being formed with a greater hope, a transformed perspective, a fresh beginning in the hands of an Almighty God.
Being “humbled” by pain seems too pious. The process for me has and will continue to be gloriously humiliating…getabsorbed…n


